Uncertainty
by Lily and Shadow
Summary: This is just a collection of one-shots featuring Matt and Mello. None of them are related. MxM
1. Healing

**A/N:** Hola. This is going to be a collection of one-shots to help me get back into fanfiction, since right now I'm failing miserably at picking up where I left off. That's it I think.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Death Note.

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"Matt?"

Mello's voice was little more than a whisper as his trembling fingers ghosted over Matt's cheek. The redhead gave a soft sound to let the blonde know he was awake, but that was all.

"What are we?"

This time Matt turned over to face the older boy. He was greeted with an odd sight. The blonde lay propped up on one arm, the sheet falling so that it just barely covered him. He was naked and Matt could see the marks he had left on the boy's neck and chest. That in itself wasn't so unusual. What made it odd was that the boy was trembling and looked slightly pale, though that could have been a trick of the light. But Mello never looked vulnerable. Not even when he was pinned, writhing, beneath Matt. Even then he was still completely in control. But not now. Now he seemed vulnerable and, dare Matt even think it, weak.

"What do you mean?" the redhead asked.

Mello watched him for a moment, blue eyes studying Matt's expression, before he spoke. "Us. What are we?"

"Friends," Matt said, reaching out to brush a strand of blonde hair away from the other boy's face. "Lovers. Partners. Brothers. Mostly friends, though, I think."

Mello smiled a little at this and some of the hopelessness seemed to leave him. Green eyes took in the sight before him, but one thing really caught his attention. The scar over the left side of Mello's face, still raw in places. Still healing. Still waiting to see if his vision would return, doubting it ever would.

Mello had seemed unsure of himself since the explosion. Matt had noticed a marked change in his behavior, even if no one else had. Sure he was still an extremely dominant person in most aspects of his life, but there had been little changes. Not the words he said, but the way he said them. Not the things he did, but the way he did them. Little things that Matt noticed because they were closer than the redhead had ever thought two people could be.

"What do you think will happen to us?" Mello said, moving closer to Matt. "After all of this?"

Matt shrugged. "I'm sure I don't know. Why?"

Mello frowned. "This sounds stupid, but after death. I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it much before the accident. But now…"

"So that's what you've been preoccupied with," Matt said, running a gentle hand down Mello's scarring cheek.

He felt the blonde's face grow warm. "You noticed?"

Matt nodded. "Mhm. I do live with you, after all. And I would say we're closer than most people. So yeah, I noticed."

Mello turned over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Matt knew he was still watching him because he lay with his right side to him.

"Matt?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you…" Mello started, but his voice trailed off into nothing. Quietly he turned his head to look at the young man beside him. "Do you still…?"

Matt knew what he was being asked. He moved swiftly, not giving the blonde time to protest before he was pinned beneath his red haired friend. There was a look of something akin to fear in Mello's eyes and Matt frowned. Mello still hadn't healed completely and his weakness made him jumpy. He pressed his forehead to Mello's as he spoke.

"Yes, I still love you. Yes, I still want you here. No, I don't mind. No, you aren't a burden to me and you never have been. No, I don't regret pulling you out of that building, so don't even suggest it. And yes, I still need you."

At this Mello grinned weakly. "Well I guess that answers that."

"And no, you're still not funny," Matt added, earning himself a friendly punch to the shoulder. He fell back over onto his side, releasing the blonde. "Now go to sleep."


	2. Homecoming

**A/N:** Hola. This one is lame and sappy and corny. It's like I get tired and my writing becomes crap. So you get this. Be careful not to choke on the horrid sweetness. Oh, and I apologize for Matt's rather colourful vocabulary. He was not a happy puppy.

Thank you to SincerelyRainbow, Kaze Kimizu, and flamablechoklit for reviewing!

**Disclaimer:** If I had written Death Note no one would have read it because it would have been made of lame just like this one-shot.

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A loud knock at the door startled Matt out of his videogame induced stupor, causing him to drop his controller. He swore under his breath as he noticed the crack in the plastic casing and then again when he character was killed by a swarm of enemies. Stupid door. It was probably one of the neighbor's kids being an idiot again. He hated this apartment.

But, he supposed, this was home. Or at least, as close to home as he would ever get. Growing up in an orphanage his whole life kind of ruled out the possibility of living near family. He didn't have any. Well, he had a brother. Sort of. Not really a brother. After all, they weren't related. But the blonde was long gone. Matt hadn't seen him since he had vanished from the orphanage four years earlier.

At first Matt had searched for Mello. He had looked everywhere, drifting from place to place as he tried to find the closest thing to family he had ever had. Finally, after two years and a trail that was growing ever colder, he had given up. And not just on Mello, but on everything.

"I swear to god," Matt shouted as he made his way to the door. "If this is the Johnson boys again I will shoot you."

He didn't mean it. And the two teen-aged boys the threat was aimed at knew he didn't mean it. But he still said it. Same as always. Same old thing. Same old routine.

One gloved hand grasped the doorknob, wrenching the door open. "What –"

And that was as far as he got. The rest of the words were simply gone. There was nothing he could say. His mind had gone numb and the rest of him had followed suit. Because there before him stood someone he thought he would never see again. Staring back at him from where he stood in the doorway, blue eyes just as cold and as calm as ever, there was Mello.

"Mello…"

"Hey Matt." Mello's voice was soft, little more than a whisper.

"Mello…" Matt stared at him for a moment longer before he finally moved. Mello hardly reacted as Matt punched him hard in the face. What he did react to was Matt hugging him immediately afterward. "You goddamn bastard! I fucking HATE you! Do you _know_ how much I missed you? What the fuck were you thinking!? And where the hell did you disappear to for four fucking _years_?"

Matt's swearing and ranting was rendered all but pointless by the fact that he sobbed every word of it into Mello's shoulder. Even if he did hit the blonde several more times and even if the words did sting, Mello knew it was out of frustration rather than hatred.

Finally Matt stopped shouting and stopped crying and fell silent. Still, he didn't let go of his friend. It seemed as though he thought that if he let go Mello would vanish again. It was several moments before either of them moved or spoke at all. It was Mello who finally broke the silence.

"Where I went isn't important. I realized that I wasn't going to find what I was looking for out there. So I did the only thing that _could_ help me find what I wanted. I came back."


End file.
